Well, I couldn't kill myself. I guess that's thanks to you guys.

I can't believe how much traffic my page got. I didn't expect anybody to notice this at all. Thank you.

It's been a few days since my last post, and I've had some time to
clear my thoughts a little. I'm still not at my best, but to be honest the comments that were posted on this site went a long way to helping me out.

I'm not going to lie, I'm still not okay. I started taking my meds again, and I don't feel a lot better because of it, but it's a start.

I'm still lonely, and I'm still bored, but you have given me something I didn't have before: hope.

There is more to life than just pain, and I'd like to go and find the joy in life. It's not going to be easy to break out of my shell. But I have to. To stop myself from being suffocated by my sadness, I have to.

I sent SMHA an e-mail recently. They were incredibly supportive of me, and they didn't even know me. I guess these students actually do care; most of the one's I've met don't seem to at all. In any case, I'm so grateful they were there for me, and that they left their message on my blog.

I called Kid's Help Phone yesterday. They were so helpful to me. It was just fantastic to have someone to talk to; a shoulder to cry on. I used to think that those paid therapists didn't care, but this one, Carl, really seemed to. He gave me his personal line and told me to call him if I ever needed him. And I actually believe he wants me to. I have never felt like that before.

I burned my noose yesterday; the one I was going to hang myself with. It doesn't change much, but to me, it's a symbol. I'm not going to try to kill myself ever again.

Thank you so much, dear reader. For actually caring enough to read this. I can't tell you how much it means to me for you to have stuck around this far. I will write more. The pain is still there, and I can't ignore it. So I guess I'll just write about it. That's all I can do. And I guess all I can ask you to do is read it. You don't have to. This place is about me, really. But still, thank you for being here.