Thoughts n things

Not gone

2012-02-04T19:26:00.001-08:00

I looked in her eyes and I lived
She looked back at me and I knew
That you have not left me or gone anywhere
For in those soft eyes I found you

If I told you

2012-02-04T19:25:00.001-08:00

If I told you that I loved you
Would you take me by the hand
Would you look me in the eye and say the same
Or would your face turn deathly pale
Would that soft smile fade from view
Would I stand and wish to God I never came
If I told you I adore you
That you're always on my mind
That the thought of being with you brings a smile
Would you think that I was being cute
And smile the way you do
Or would it make you want to run a mile
If I told you that I want you
Would you say you want me too
Would you hold me close and whisper in my ear
Or would you march me out the door
With the words 'do not come back'
Those are words that I never want to hear
If I told you that I love you
Would you say you love me too
Would you hold my face and press your lips to mine
If I told you that I want you
And you said you feel the same
That would be the sweetest moment of all time

Get off your arse

2012-02-04T19:24:00.001-08:00

If you have no money and you have no job
If you have no way to survive
Just sit down right here, roll that last smoke
And wait for good will to arrive
Don't waste time looking for something worthwhile
That will pay you a regular wage
Just sit on your arse and hold out your hands
Find some more suckers today
Why the fuck should you work like everyone else
You don't have time for that shit
You're too busy sitting here begging for help
So you can run off and buiy your next hit
I've lived on the streets and slept in the parks
Lived life day by day on a prayer
But I always managed to pay my own way
There was always employment somewhere
I know what it's like to be homeless my friend
To be hungry and tired in the rain
But there's always a way to better yourself
You fall down and you get up again
But if all that you want is handouts and pot
Then I guess there's not much I can do
I see people in real need, kids without food
Pity them but I won't pity you
So if you have no money and you have no job
I suggest that you get off your arse
Stop living off everyone elses good will
For I guarantee that will not last

Somewhere else

2012-02-04T19:23:00.002-08:00

I have to go out
It's nothing personal
Its just that the strings attached to my heart
Seem to end somewhere else for tonight

Odin

2012-02-04T19:23:00.001-08:00

A child is born into our world
Odin is his name
His future shaped by what we do
Lets make him glad he came
Teach him all the things he needs
To help him on his way
Show him how to make tomorrow
Ever better than today

Faith

2012-02-04T19:21:00.001-08:00

There was always this hope smewhere deep inside
That my life would get better somehow
A fantasy grown from a world somewhere else
That has no place in my here and now
There was always this knowing that somewhere out there
Was a sign and I'd find it some day
To a road that would lead me somehow back to you
And that fueled me each step of the way
There was never a time when I felt alone
You were always somewhere in my mind
That knowing that one day I'd wake in your arms
But now it's that faith I can't find
I find myself here at the end of a road
Behind me is all that I knew
Before me is darkness stretched out all around
Somewhere in that darkness is you
I stare out ahead with fear in my heart
My feet will not move from this place
I can't look behind me I know what I'll see
When all that I need is your face
I wish there were some way to turn on the light
To show me where others have gone
But there isn't so now I must face all my fears
For I stand in this place all alone
Please God if you're there then show me your hand
Please help me to take one more step
I'm afraid of this darkness that faces me now
And I pray that you will not forget

And I cry

2012-01-30T19:22:00.001-08:00

I can't let you go
God knows I've tried
Day after day hour after hour
I've called out your name
And I've cried
They try so hard to understand
This pain I'm going through
They tell me time
Will heal the wound
That I'll get over you
They say that I must turn a leaf
But I don't want to leave
My life is stalled
My heart is still
I don't know how to grieve
Please help me lord don't leave me here
Don't turn and walk away
I just don't know
If I can take
Another lonely day
You were to me the air I breathe
The beating of my heart
You've gone somewhere
I cannot be
It's tearing me apart
I know that you are watching
Whispering my name
Each night I'm calling out to you
I know you do the same
Please save me from this emptiness
Find your way to me
Reach out from where ere you are
Touch my soul
Set me free
I just can't let go
God know's I try
I feel you standing next to me
I close my eyes
And I cry

Obsessed

2012-01-22T16:55:00.000-08:00

Ok it's official and I just can't deny it
This feeling that's raging inside
Every time that I see you my heart just explodes
And my pleasure has nowhere to hide
It drives me insane
When your standing so close
That my arms want to gather you in
The scent of you coils
Like a snake round my soul
And my mind disappears into sin
I drown in your eyes I get lost in your smile
I die when your hand touches mine
I want to be with you wherever you are
It's a feeling so close to sublime
Every night you are there
Just as I go to sleep
Your my last thought as I drift away
In the morning I wake
And your there in my mind
Where you'll be for the rest of my day
No doubt some would say
My love is not real
Just obsession and maybe that's true
But I don't really care
I know how I feel
Obsession or love it's still you
So please don't comdemn me
Or turn me away
I just want the joy of your smile
To know that your happy
To know you are there
To be held in your eyes for a while
And so it's official and I can't deny
This fire that burns deep down inside
You are the most wonderful thing in my life
It's a feeling I simply can't hide

Each breath whispers your name

2012-01-18T22:49:00.001-08:00

Nobody will remember
All those good times that we shared
Our names will pass to history
As if nobody cared
Just you and I know what we had
No other person can
But I remember everything
From the moment we began
This world this life is nothing more
Than seconds lost in time
The future cannot understand
I am yours and you are mine
Though death has torn us far apart
These memories remain
In my dreams I search for you
Each breath whispers your name
Romeo and Juliet
A soldier and a queen
These stories are remembered
As our love rests unseen
If there is another life
When this one fades away
Then you and I will meet again
And I hunger for that day

Angels by her side

2012-01-18T16:17:00.000-08:00

Always in the background
Angels by her side
No matter what they threw at her
She never ran to hide
She would always be the one
Who came to save the day
The one who always took the time
To travel all that way
Her home was always open
Her heart was just the same
But she always came in second
When people played their games
I knew her when she was a kid
And even way back there
Her heart reached out to those around
She cried because she cared
When life got hard for others
And they reached out for someone
Every time they called her name
They knew that she would come
Now that she's no longer here
To save them when they fall
How the hell will they survive
When hard times come to call
Her soul still swims in tears of love
From all the times she cried
Always in the background
With angels by her side

Kangaroo Steak

2012-01-18T16:16:00.000-08:00

I want to eat myself to death
I don't care what healthy nuts say
I love my food and my taste buds scream out
For a new flavour every day
Raw oysters are not for the squeamish
Snails and frogs legs oh my god
Lobster and crab with clams muscles prawns
These are the things that I love
I want to eat slow roasted pork ribs
With lashings of BBQ sauce
Or southern fried chicken and fatty french fries
With 12 herbs and spices of course
I'd kill for a greasy old burger
With onions and beetroot and stuff
A hot dog from Harry's De Wheels is so good
Sorry doc but I can't get enough
A kangaroo steak is cholesterol free
Emu is pretty low too
I like to be healthy but I can't survive
On salads and vegetable stew
So I want to eat turkey and pidgeon
To cook fresh caught fish on a beach
Sample the fruits that nature provides
I want to go deep fry a peach
Now don't get me wrong I'll eat anything
Just as long as it isn't still moving
To go in my mouth then it first has to be dead
If it wiggles it ain't quite so soothing
I've tried quite a lot all over the world
Eaten strange stuff in stranger terrains
Downed lots of things that I can't reccommend
And some that I'm craving again
So tell me I'm crazy all that you want
You won't change my mind about food
It's one of those pleasures that never gets old
And I'm happy that I still love food

That wonderful girl

2012-01-16T20:11:00.000-08:00

Can you remember the face
Of the very first girl that you loved
Do you remember the way she felt in your arms
Like an angel that fell from above
Can you still smell the scent of her hair
The sweet taste of those wonderful lips
The way that her hands ran so slow down your back
Til they rested just right on your hips
Can you still feel the warmth of her breath
As she whispered your name in your ear
No more than a sigh but it rattled your world
As your arms drew her ever so near
Can you picture her now in your mind
That vision of beauty so rare
Those days when the world was just filled with her love
Don't you wish those days were still there
I remember that very first time
That I opened my heart to the world
And I'll never regret that I gave it to her
I still love her that wonderful girl

Somebody who cares

2012-01-07T18:08:00.001-08:00

Why the hell do you think I go see her
Just what hell do you think's on my mind
Do you think that it's all got to do with mans lust
Well your wrong if you looked you might find
She treats me with trust and respect
All those things that I don't get from you
With all that has happened and all I've done wrong
Her eyes are the sun breaking through
I can't change the things that have past
Or undo those dumb things that I've done
But I can change my future my life here and now
When I'm with her I feel like I belong
She doesn't condemn me or listen to lies
There's nothing but trust in her heart
When I'm with her my life takes on meaning again
And I hate it when we are apart
So why do you think that I'm never here
Can you not see, the reason is there
Has it never occurred that one day I might choose
To be with somebody who cares

A Silent Net

2012-01-05T20:04:00.001-08:00

No matter how I try no matter what I do
I just can't seem to drive you from my heart
I fill my head with images of every girl I've known
But I feel so damned alone now we're apart
I want so much to hold you to tell you how I feel
To kiss your lips and feel your lips kiss mine
To hold you through the night have you never let me go
For in this heart you are one of a kind
There's not a single moment of my day that passes by
That doesn't find you somewhere in my thoughts
That I don't wish my day would end and I could be with you
For you've cast a silent net and I am caught

My last thought is you

2012-01-05T16:32:00.000-08:00

My whole world is falling apart
I can feel the slow rumbling below
On the edge of extinction I stand here in fear
As the cracks in my world start to show
I watch as volcano's errupt from my past
And slowly engulf all I see
Storm clouds form quickly and crack overhead
Their anger is aimed straight at me
Emptiness moves like a ghost through my heart
Stealing everything I once held dear
My spirit stands naked on crumbling hope
I cry out but nobody hears
The heavens condemn me the earth falls away
All that I had fades from view
As darkness surrounds me and gathers me in
My very last thought will be you

Generation Duh

2012-01-01T04:37:00.000-08:00

It just doesn't matter what I say or do
It'll all come right back in my face
It seems I'm the ugliest oldest dick head
To come from the whole human race
My wisdom as flawed as a teenagers skin
Advice is no more than a bore
My knowledge is wasted on generation duh
Every word that I say is ignored
But what will they do when the shit hits the fan
All heads will be turning my way
They'll need someone to blame and who better than me
The old bloke whos been here every day
Cos the kids of today at least those here and now
Can't accept they could ever be wrong
For no matter the wisdom or knowledge you have
Your too old and you just don't belong
So do what you will to keep things on the track
In the end to your own self be true
This train will still crash you can bet when it does
The whole fucking world will blame you

2012

2012-01-01T04:35:00.001-08:00

Two thousand and twleve begins
Lets hope it's a much better year
Less children hungry with tears in their eyes
Less people living in fear
Lets hope we can all get along
Just that little bit more than we have
We must learn to forgive start with ourselves
We must try to make less people sad
The last years have gone by so fast
But this one has just left the gates
Take a good look around you at all that you have
Enjoy it before its too late
20 12 is now rolled out ahead
A future that's built on the past
Don't live behind you re-build what's ahead
Make this year out shine the last

Close the door

2011-12-29T17:06:00.000-08:00

I think that I've come to the end of the road
There's not too much left here for me
I've done what I can to make everything right
But it seems that was not meant to be
I can't seem to move without hurting someone
Or speak without causing a fight
Those that I love seem to end up with scars
I've decided this just isn't right
This life isn't all that it's cracked up to be
We don't start with a squeaky clean slate
Life's what you make of it that's what they say
Yeah maybe but sometimes it's fate
I sure didn't ask to be who I am
And I got no choice in my genes
I started my life not knowing my past
But I've sure as hell got one it seems
Everything that I do everything that I say
Is conditioned by seeds that were sewn
Even before my first breath in this world
I was destined to walk it alone
I'm not complaining, I've had some good times
Some being the appropriate word
I've loved and I've lived and planted my seeds
You reap what you sew so I've heard
Now if that was true then I'd be very proud
For the seeds that I sewed have all grown
I'm proud of my children they turned out just fine
And they've all sewn some seeds of thier own
But somewhere my life took a turn for the worse
In some hidden place deep in my mind
I started to hate what I had become
When I saw what was dragging behind
For while I admit to the good times I've had
There's this crap that's been hidden from view
And in some dark corner somewhere in my mind
You don't know what I'm doing to you
We all have our secrets that others don't know
Kept buried in darkness somewhere
Sometimes in that darkness is where we get lost
It's a love hate that beckons us there
I've hurt everything that I loved in my life
Because of this demon within
I just can't control it and god knows I've tried
Now I know the true meaning of sin
I want you to know that I truly regret
All the bad things I've done through the years
Each one of them haunts me I remember them all
Every one of them brings me to tears
If I could go back and change just one thing
It would be when my mother conceived
But I can't change yesterday only today
And to do so would see people grieve
So I think that I've come to the end of the road
I just don't want to hurt any more
Forgive me for leaving but don't call me back
Remember me, then close the door

Something

2011-12-26T22:39:00.001-08:00

Something in your eyes tells me you love me
Something in your smile tells me you care
Something in the way you squeeze my hand and say goodbye
Tells me that you want me to be there
Something in your touch tells me you want me
Something in your hug tells me you know
Something in the way your body feels so close to mine
Tells me you don't want to let me go
Something in your gaze tells me you miss me
Something in your look tells me your sad
Something in the softest smile I see from time to time
Tells me that you want what we could have
Something in my spirit says your mine
Something in me heart tells me it's true
Something in the way you make me feel so deep inside
Something that says my heart belongs to you

It's a battle

2011-12-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

My heart just wants to hold you
My mind tells me to stop
It's a battle that I fight each time we meet
I want to wrap you in my arms
Kiss your lips for so damned long
It hurts to watch you drive off down the street
I can't control the way I feel
Sometimes I wish I could
Sometimes I wish I'd never seen your face
I want to tell you all these things
But I'm scared of what you'd do
So I'm hiding in this dark and lonely place
Could you ever love me
Could you even care
How can I go on with all this pain
Would you even miss me
If I went away
And never looked upon your face again
My heart just wants to hold you
But it can never be
I know it but I just can't walk away
I want you in my arms so much
It's tearing me apart
And I find myself in tears again today

Santa came to visit

2011-12-26T22:36:00.000-08:00

Santa came to visit but he didn't hang around
He said he had too much he had to do
I tried to make him stay even got his reindeer drunk
But he took off and was on his way to you
I heard got arrested and locked up for the night
Cos Rudolf and the others caused a scene
Now Santa waits for a Magistrate before he can go on
And his Ho Ho Ho is sounding kinda mean
So if he didn't come to you don't blame it all on him
It was Rudolf and his mates who drank Martini's
And as for me well I'm ok I'm the one who dobbed him in
Now I got this bag with all these lovely pressies
So if you want to know what Santa thought that you should have
Drop around and share a smile or two
Ya never know I might just have a gift marked with your name
If your really nice I'll pass it on to you

I want to

2011-12-24T02:22:00.000-08:00

I want to be inside you
I want it so damned much
I want to feel you next to me
I want to know your touch
I want to feel your lips on mine
I want to taste your tongue
I want to touch you everywhere
I want to know your song
I want to hear you sighing
I want to feel you scream
I want to know your wanting me
I want you in my dreams
I want to be inside you now
I want it all the time
I want to hear you scream my name
I just want you to be mine

What do I do

2011-12-24T02:21:00.001-08:00

What do I do, she's there in my mind when I wake
My dreams fill with fantasy tears burn my eyes
I'm not sure how much more I can take
What do I say, when she smiles I start falling apart
When she touches my hand I go weak at the knees
And this thumping starts inside my heart
What do I want, if not to be holding her right here and now
If not to be lost in her arms ever more
And be lifted to heaven somehow
What do I do, she's the light that shines bright in the dark
I live for the moments when I see her smile
And I'm lonely when we are apart
So what do I say, the next time that she asks how I am
When she touches my hand and my heart skips a beat
I'll just smile and say I'm doing fine

My friends

2011-12-24T02:18:00.000-08:00

To all my friends at Christmas
I can't thank you enough
For all the times you've made me smile
When life seemed kind of rough
For all those words of kindness
Encouragement and cheers
For being there with open arms
When all I had was tears
For reaching out across the waves
Or just from down the road
You made the walk much easier
By lightening my load
I can not tell you what it means
To have friends such as you
I pray the angels find a way
To make your dreams come true
As this old year comes to an end
And we look towards the new
Think of me and raise your glass
As I raise mine to you

Natures song

2011-12-24T02:17:00.000-08:00

The willows are weeping above me today
Flowers are blooming all round
The grass feels so soft when it brushes my face
As I lay myself here on the ground
The crickets are chirping and butterfly's dance
Ants go about their own thing
A bird sings above me so high in the trees
I find myself wanting to sing
My fingers press down on the polished fretboard
The strings vibrate softly for me
A leaf gently floats as if caught in a breeze
Then my voice is so suddenly free
My fingers are picking a wonderful tune
The notes join together as one
A chorus of nature errupts all around
Such harmony lifting my song
I find myself smiling my spirit renewed
The music of life all around
This natural orchestra touching my soul
Completely engulfs me in sound
This picture I paint you is not far away
You're there when you hear nature sing
Lay yourself down by the side of a stream
Feel the peace only nature can bring

Christmas again

2011-12-19T16:43:00.001-08:00

It's Christmas again and I'm still alone
Another long year almost through
The next one approaches and I'm not so sure
I still want to be here without you
I can no longer leave you alone in the dark
My heart slowly drowns in these tears
It's so hard to keep smilng here day after day
When my torn soul is screaming in fear
Every night when my eyes close your image is there
You smile and my world falls apart
I fall to my knees in a place of such pain
That envelops the whole of my heart
Your love through the years though distant from me
Gave me hope and the strength to go on
Now I hold you my love in the palm of my hand
And all that I am feels so wrong
It's Christmas again and your not here with me
Doing all those things we used to do
If Christmas could bring me just one gift this year
It would be just one more moment with you

Lighthouse

2011-12-19T16:42:00.001-08:00

She stands upon a rocky shore
Through wind and rain and snow
She looks out over murky depths
One hundred feet below
Her beam sweeps out across the waves
To let you know your not alone
A pin prick of light through the darkest night
She is there to guide you home

She doesn't love me

2011-12-19T16:41:00.001-08:00

I'm in love with a girl who doesn't love me
And it's tearing this old heart in two
Knowing she feels for another is hard
But there isn't a thing I can do
She's there every day right in front of my eyes
I smile but I'm falling apart
The sound of her voice like a breeze to a flame
Sets a fire burning deep in my heart
She's the last think I think of as I go to sleep
My first thought when I open my eyes
And it tears me apart when I do for I know
That she'll never be there by my side
I'm in love with a girl who doesn't love me
And it hurts to be feeling this way
I wish I could turn off my heart for a while
For I know I will see her today

Well I guess

2011-12-07T23:38:00.001-08:00

Well I guess that it's all over now

The cat's been let out of the bag

The question's been asked and the answer received

Always knew it but still makes me sad

I hoped for a dream to come true

So stupidly here in my mind

For this girl to love me and feel the same way

She'd have to be dumb blonde and blind

How could I have been such a fool

To think I stood even a chance

I want to be larger than life in her eyes

But I don't even warrant a glance

So I guess that it's all over now

But I'm happy that we'll remain friends

To lose her entirely would just break my heart

It's our friendship that counts in the end

WTF

2011-12-07T23:33:00.001-08:00

How is a man meant to act

What the fuck is a bloke s'posed to do

You give him these feelings and bring em to life

It's a nightmare you put us all through

We can't have the things we desire

But you surround us with those that we don't

Then just when we think that we've worked it all out

There she is it's like one big sick joke

You dragged me up out of the dust

Then you plant me here your little tree

You slam me with rules for what I can't do

But not once did you ever ask me

It's not fucking fair what you do

And you get pissed off when I complain

But if you think I'm happy with how my life is

You'll be frigging well thinking again

I don't like being your little pawn

To be shifted around as you please

This game that your playing may be just fun to you

But it's more like a war zone to me

My heart has been torn into shreds

I've lost everthing that I love

My world is in tatters emotions gone wild

While you sit with a smile on your throne

Just what is it that you want from me

Why the hell can't I have what 'I' want

If you have all this power to mess with my life

Leave me happy for once you slack.......

She's in love too

2011-12-07T23:32:00.001-08:00

When you see just how much

She loves someone else

It hits deep in places unseen

Feels like somebody

Just ripped out your heart

Now there's nothing

Where joy should have been

You fight back the tears

That lay just out of sight

Behind eyes that can't look away

You smile as your world

Slowly crumbles and falls

But there isn't a thing you can say

You can't choose who you love

Any more than you could

Turn the tides with a wave of your hand

Sometimes Cupid's arrow

Is aimed at your heart

For reasons you can't understand

There's nothing so lonely

As a heart filled with love

For someone who doesn't love you

Unless it's that moment

When you first realise

That girl you love, she's in love too

Can't fight it

2011-12-07T23:31:00.000-08:00

I can't fight this thing any more

Or change what my heart wants to do

It's driving me crazy this feeling inside

Ever since the first day I met you

At first I thought it was just lust

Dirty thoughts that grew inside my head

Holding you naked so close to me

You and me so alone in my bed

But desire doesn't make my heart ache

And lust doesn't bring me to tears

These things I could fix with a trip down the road

It's just different whenever you're near

There's something about how you move

A look that I catch now and then

The softest of sighs when I give you a hug

Makes me want to be with you again

I just don't know what I should do

For I know that these feelings are wrong

I can't get you out of my head any more

You're just there like the words of a song

I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be

Than held in your caring embrace

And there's nothing that I'd rather see when I wake

Than that smile on your beautiful face

Now I simply can't fight how I feel any more

And I just don't know what else to do

So I'm baring my soul as I offer my heart

Oh my god I'm so in love with you

Christmas past

2011-12-07T23:30:00.001-08:00

I remember when Christmas meant having a ball

Family and friends round the tree

Presents to unwrap pudding to eat

Everything just where it ought to be

I remember the smile on my grandmothers face

As she watched us pass presents around

My grandfathers cranky old voice as he yelled

Don't leave all that stuff on the ground

I remember my mother sipping her tea

And my father up ending a beer

My aunties and uncles all gathered around

So filled with that old Christmas cheer

I remember the fireplace the chestnuts and stuff

Marshmallows and spuds in the coal

The big Christmas crackers we all got to pull

My mum whispering 'never get old'

I remember those days and the good times we had

The spirit of Christmas was there

And it just didn't matter what presents you got

It was family and everyone shared

I wish I could go back in time like old Scrooge

And re-live all those good times we had

But I can't and they're gone and now I am here

And somehow that feels kind of sad

What say you

2011-12-07T23:29:00.002-08:00

What say you you horny old bitch

Would you like a short romp in the hay

Or an epic seduction between you and me

That will last til the end of the day

I could start at your feet and work my way up

Every toe being gently caressed

Til I find myself there at the nape of your neck

And you'll be completely undressed

You can start here and work your way down

Every button and zipper undone

You slip off my socks one by one with your teeth

Til we both lay there naked as one

A can of whipped cream maybe two maybe three

With strawberries strategically placed

We would have such a time all alone you and I

And I have chocolate here just in case

So what say you you horny old bitch

Will it be a short romp in the hay

Or shall we hang out the do not disturb sign again

And make our own heaven today

If I told you

2011-12-07T23:29:00.001-08:00

If I told you I love you

Would you stand there in stunned disbelief

Or would you try hard to find something to say

Before stealing away like a thief

If I told you I want you

Would you tell me that you want me too

Or would you hold me so tight that my heart beat with yours

While you look for a door to run through

If I told you I need you

Would you come to me when I'm alone

Or would you smile when my name flashes up on the screen

And then simply not answer the phone

If I told you how much I care

Would you tell me that you feel the same

Or would you give me that smile while your holding my hand

That say's your just playing the game

If I told you I love you

Would you kiss me and pull me so near

Would you whisper that you are in love with me too

Because that's all I'm longing to hear

Had a gut full

2011-12-07T23:28:00.001-08:00

I'm damned if I know not sure that I care

About anything you have to say

Your mouth spews out rubbish none of it true

And it keeps coming day after day

If you were to tell me the truth just one time

I'd find it so hard to believe

Be wondering what little moves you have planned

And just what you've got up that sleeve

You look so damned cute and you give me that smile

Then you spoil it with absolute bull

Like the boy who cried wolf you did it too much

Now my sweet I have had a gut full

So pack your belongings cos you're out the door

And I don't want to hear one more word

If you want to find someone who'll listen to you

They'll be down with the rest of the turds

So pick up your act move it on down the road

Sell your show to some other dumb clown

As you leave slam the door kick the dog a few times

Then get the fuck out of my town

Me

2011-12-07T23:27:00.000-08:00

I am but a spec in the universe

One ripple somewhere way out in space

A sneeze of creation a hiccup in time

Just one of a whole human race

I am but a blip on the radar of life

There for an instant and gone

My life in this place and all that I am

Will be ended before it's begun

There just isn't time to figure it out

Before you stand facing the end

You suddenly wish that you'd said goodbye

To family lovers and friends

When I close my eyes for that final time

This world will not miss me for long

Though I've met many people and felt truly loved

The majority won't know when I'm gone

For I am but a stitch in the fabric of time

One member of this human race

A single small pin prick of light in a show

That is lost in the vastness of space

So don't mourn for me when I'm finally gone

For I know I leave many behind

Be happy for me and smile for I know

I was unique throughout all space and time

I am but a spec in this great universe

A small tear in the fabric of space

But wherever I end up I'll make sure they know

I was part of this great human race

Just want to hold you

2011-11-25T15:15:00.000-08:00

I just want to hold you

It drives me insane

I must hold my feelings inside

Every time that your near me

My heart skips a beat

It's so hard not to run off and hide

I laugh and I joke and I say silly things

To disguise what your doing to me

What I really want is my arms around you

But I fear I would not set you free

This fire deep within

Comes to life when you smile

With a hunger so hard to control

There's just something about you

Some invisible force

And it reaches right into my soul

I wish I could find an answer somehow

Some hope I could cling to because

My life would have meaning

With you by my side

But it just isn't me that you love

I just want to hold you

With all of my heart

You caught me and I can't break loose

There's something incredible

Something so strong

That will bind me forever to you

Over it

2011-11-25T15:14:00.001-08:00

I'm over the bullshit the rubbish and crap

That I hear from all sides every day

I can't handle this or I can't handle that

It's all bullshit, well that's what you say

You don't have a clue how to handle your life

But you think that you just know it all

The fact that I actually care about you

Makes it hard not to move as you fall

But then why would you care

Since you don't give a shit

About anything outside yourself

As long as you get everything that you want

Well, we'll all just sit here on the shelf

I'm over the crap about everyone else

When your just as bad as the rest

It's easier to blame other people for shit

Than to fess up that your not the best

So go sink yourself into far deeper crap

Than anything you will find here

The road that your on well I've been down before

And it ultimately ends up in tears

But don't expect sympathy hands and a smile

From those that you left in your wake

The world doesn't favour the selfish my friend

Sometimes you must give and not take

Out of my head

2011-11-25T15:12:00.000-08:00

I can't get you out of my head

I just can't stop thinking of you

You're there when I close my eyes

There when I wake

And it seems that you're in my dreams too

You've somehow found your way in

To that place that I guarded so much

You've invaded my heart

Set up camp in deep inside

Now I hunger each day for your touch

There is nothing that this world can give

And nothing that I would not do

To be holding you close

Feel your heartbeat with mine

Then to spend my whole life loving you

For I can't get you out of my head

God help me your all I can see

There's just no escaping

The way that I feel

I just need you to be here with me

Grrrr

2011-11-21T16:36:00.001-08:00

There's this bloke that I know

Likes to beat up on girls

Makes him a tough guy for sure

He should suck on the sharp end

Of some loaded gun

And end up face down on the floor

People like this bloke

Deserve nothing less

Than a hole in the ground six foot deep

Then maybe the women

Some merely girls

Could get a few decent nights sleep

For there's not much I hate more

Than blokes who hit girls

If God granted me just one wish

It would be that this bloke

And all those like him

Would be dropped down some endless abyss

There's this one bloke I know.....

Angry

2011-11-20T16:35:00.001-08:00

God damn it I'm over this place

Not one single thing has gone right

I started this life in a world full of pain

Every new god damned day is a fight

Just what the fuck did I do

In past lives or even right now

To deserve all this crap that I cop every day

It's come to feel normal somehow

I don't know just what I did wrong

To piss off somebody somehow

Whatever it was and whoever you are

I'd sure like to be facing you now

Cos I don't give a crap any more

What you think now means nothing to me

You've pushed me so far that I'm over the edge

And now you sad fuck I am free

So get yourself out of my way

Or I'll walk up and spit in your face

I don't care any more you can say what you like

Cos god damn it I'm over this place

Moonlight

2011-11-20T15:19:00.001-08:00

The morning sun the evening moon

The world turns slowly round

Twilight comes the crickets sleep

Replaced by moonlights sound

Stars begin to show themselves

A light show in the skies

I turn towards your smiling face

And beauty fills my eyes

There is no place I'd rather be

On such a summers night

Than in your arms upon this hill

Beneath the soft moonlight

Tears in my soul

2011-11-20T03:12:00.001-08:00

Time doesn't heal every wound

And it doesn't diminish the pain

It doesn't make living without you a joy

I still wish you were with me again

Many years may have gone since you passed

But it's still yesterday in my head

Every night still brings darkness wet with my tears

I remember the words that you said

'I will always be with you no matter what comes'

'For I love you and I always will'

'We are soul mates forever in time you and I'

'That's a love even time cannot kill'

But time isn't kind as it drags me along

Without you I don't want to be

Every sunrise is dull every day of my life

Is so empty now you're not with me

Forgive me my love for I know what you want

And I know you don't want me in tears

But time is no healer and here without you

Every moment is 50 long years

I feel you reach out from wherever you are

I see that sad look on your face

I know that you don't want to see me this way

But I can't find you here in this place

I've done what you said and I've tried to move on

To drag myself out of this hole

Each morning more difficult waking from sleep

Tasting your tears in my soul

Missunderstandings

2011-11-18T15:34:00.000-08:00

Missunderstandings are bitches of things

They fuck up a day full of smiles

They mess with your head and turn you away

Leave you alone for a while

The stress and the worry that this crap creates

Dents friendships and caring and trust

It makes you think twice before saying a word

It rots like corrosion or rust

Don't let missunderstandings ruin your day

Don't jump to conclusions and hide

Don't think that your friend is your friend no more

For you know they are hurting inside

Missunderstandings need never be

If we trust in our family and friends

For words that are spoken are often not heard

In the spirit in which they are sent

Why do I love you

2011-11-17T19:29:00.001-08:00

Why do I love you I'm damned if I know

But it's buried way down in my heart

Something that grew from the moment we met

It gets stronger when we are apart

Not just a feeling it's far more than that

A sensation that never shuts down

A super strong magnet that draws me to you

And joins us with barely a sound

I just can't imagine my life without you

For it seems like you've always been there

You are part of my being each beat of my heart

You will always be with me somewhere

But why do I love you you wonderful thing

I don't know but I'm glad that I do

The most beautiful girl that my arms ever held

I'm so lucky that you love me too

Here with me

2011-11-17T15:25:00.000-08:00

It breaks my heart to see you go

I weep so deep inside

This emptiness that grows within

Makes me want to run and hide

You give such meaning to my life

Whenever you are near

That when you're not I feel alone

And huddle in my fear

I cannot shake you from my mind

My heart won't let you go

You're there in everything I do

I wanted you to know

If I could hold you in my arms

Press your heart to mine

You would know that I will love you

Until the end of time

You would know that I can't let you go

My heart won't set you free

For even though I say goodbye

I still want you here with me

Impossible love

2011-11-15T01:32:00.000-08:00

I love the impossible dream

I dream of impossible love

I lust after something that I just can't have

And I hear that tut tut from above

I want to be held in her arms

But her arms never want to hold me

For she loves another and I must remain

The answer that she cannot see

I want that which I cannot have

I cannot have that I so want

I must walk away before my heart breaks

For I'll look the worst fool if I don't

How do I know this is love

And not just some unfilled desire

Love is an ember in search of a breeze

The sight of her re lights the fire

So I love the impossible dream

And I listen to sighs from above

Every cell of my being aches for her touch

As I dream of impossible love

The Writer

2011-11-10T13:35:00.001-08:00

Sometimes we write to share our thoughts

Sometimes to vent our fears

Sometimes to shout out how we feel

Sometimes to dry our tears

Sometimes we write to tell the world

That what we do is wrong

Sometimes the simple words we write

Become a soft love song

Sometimes we write to make some sense

Of the troubles in our mind

Sometimes we write just anything

To see what we can find

Sometimes we write to cry for help

In words we cannot say

Sometimes we write within our minds

And pray they'll go away

Sometimes we write in other tongues

That no-one understands

Sometimes we write to free ourselves

As if we think we can

A writer doesn't write for you

Nor even for himself

A writer writes for those to come

In the hope that it will help

Some-one else's tears

2011-11-10T13:33:00.000-08:00

Thunder rolls lightning strikes

Rain is pouring down

Birds are huddled in the trees

As branches blow around

Wind is howling past me

As I struggle on my way

Darkness at high noon

Will my world end today

I see the place where I must go

It's dry and warm inside

Another flash of blinding light

Leaves me nowhere to hide

A crack of thunder shakes the ground

I feel it to my bones

The river bank collapses

And I'm standing here alone

My house that building I called home

The place where I was born

Has stood since 1869

Right there and now it's gone

The rain now eased the thunder stopped

My tears now fall instead

Now everything I ever loved

Exists only in my head

The next time you are feeling down

Just try to understand

What you just read are only words

Put there by my own hand

But somewhere in this wondrous world

Maybe even somewhere near

Somebody will lose everything

In someone elses tears

What would I do

2011-11-10T13:29:00.000-08:00

I'm so sick and tired of living life right

They way everyone thinks that I should

Well I got some stuff that I want to do

And I want to do shit that feels good

You tell me of God and heaven and hell

Who wants me to live life sin free

Apostles and miracles water to wine

But I can't see what he's done for me

I live every day of my life with your rules

I try to do everything right

But sometimes I don't, emotions are strong

And it's worse when I turn off the light

Why can't I enjoy all that life has to give

Without feeling dirty inside

What gives you the right to sit and judge me

Then force me to cower and hide

I don't recall asking to be in this place

No choices were offered to me

And I didn't ask to be who I am

No God asked what I wanted to be

So why do you tell me I'm living life wrong

I've tried to do all that you've asked

It isn't my fault that I'm not squeaky clean

Just the sad end result of my past

I can change what I look like change how I act

Change all the things that you see

But I can't change what happens deep down in my soul

When alone I will always be me

Now I'm so sick and tired of being the person

That makes all the rest feel so good

When deep down inside I'm just falling apart

I would end it right now if I could

I am so sick and tired of living my life

Just to please you and make you feel strong

I simply can't be what you want me to be

For I can't weed the right from the wrong

The next time you see me I'll still look the same

And I'll still bring a smile to your face

For I know that inside you are not who you seem

We are part of the same human race

There's so much that I want so much here to do

There are places that I've never been

So many undone things are waiting out there

Such wonders that I've never seen

I have limited all that I did in my life

Because that's what the rules held me to

But I'm breaking those chains and I don't give a damn

I'll do everything I want to do

I'll be breaking their rules to take what I want

And I won't give a shit what they say

All the world will be mine to do as I please

And I'll smile my way right through the day

But what would I do if somebody told me

That I had just that one day to live

Simply lay in your arms on the side of a hill

And take all the love you could give

Tears

2011-11-10T13:28:00.001-08:00

Time

Why is there never enough

Always moves forward

Never moves back

Things sometimes can get pretty rough

Wishes

Never seem to come true

Prayers never answered

Dreams never filled

If they were I would be here with you

Curses

I've felt them before

Not mumbo jumbo

No witches and cats

And they rot you right down to the core

Dreams

Are not just for night

They give us direction

Move us along

They give us a reason to fight

Tears

The Gambler

2011-10-31T03:10:00.001-07:00

I feel like a gambler watching the wheel

Or a horse as it runs round a track

A sky diver standing at 12,000 feet

Hoping his chute is well packed

A diver who circles while watching a shark

Searching in vane for his knife

Or a paranoid passenger high in the air

As he scribbles a note to his wife

I feel like a priest at the end of the day

As he stares at the cross on his wall

Or a soldier who's ordered to stand up and fight

Knowing one day he may fall

A high flying acrobat paused in mid swing

With no safety net down below

Or an astronaught spinning so slowly in space

In that moment before he lets go

I feel like a gambler who's risking it all

On the look in another mans eyes

On the edge of eternity standing alone

Will the card be hello or goodbye

Ripples in the pond

2011-10-29T16:52:00.001-07:00

Shadows in the mist

Ripples in the pond

Sounds within the bushes

A slow and perfect song

The breeze is whispering gently

Sweet spells within in my ear

Softest grass sways under foot

I feel you drawing near

A touch awakes my every sense

Fragrance fills the air

The sudden silence covers me

Then somehow you are there

Your lips touch softly on my cheek

A shiver down my spine

You speak my name across all time

And tell me you are mine

I know that you can hear me

Somehow here in this place

For all around me in this mist

I swear I see your face

Shapes in the mist

2011-10-29T16:51:00.001-07:00

Everythings falling away

Everything that I ever knew

Is moving away and leaving me here

I can't even hold on to you

I feel like I'm standing alone

In a world that is turning to sand

All the things that I held on to all through my life

Are just slipping away through my hands

I watch my world fading from view

As shapes in the mist disappear

Each hope drifts away each dream turns to gray

Until I stand here alone in my fear

This desert around me is still

Not even the whisp of a breeze

There's just nothing left and I fall on my own

To the sand in my tears on my knees

What is there left for me now

Where's the reason that I should go on

Somebody show me what should I do

When all that I loved is now gone

Not even a footprint is left there to see

It's all gone now I stand here alone

There's no hope left for me I no longer dream

And even my faith is now gone

In your eyes

2011-10-29T16:50:00.001-07:00

In your eyes I see everything I've ever dreamed

Every pleasure that I've ever known

I am lost in your gaze entranced by your smile

As the seeds of my passion are sewn

There is nothing I know of in heaven or earth

That compares to the wonder of you

One moment of time wrapped in your arms

Is like all the love I ever knew

There's this something about you and I can't explain

Why you do to me just what you do

Like a moth to a flame you mesmerise me

I would die just to be there with you

In your eyes I see all that I want in my life

And in your arms I long to be

Your smile melts my heart your touch holds my soul

I wish you would stay here with me

Sitting here

2011-10-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here bored my heads in a mess

I wish I had something to do

Like painting a picture or baking a cake

Or laying here just loving you

Your face is the first thing that enters my mind

When I open my eyes to the day

And you're there every moment until my day ends

And I find myself drifting away

I long for your arms to hold me so close

To feel you so warm against me

And I crave the taste of your soft lips on mine

For my love that's the way it should be

So I'm sitting here bored and my heart aches for you

I wish I could hold you right now

But you're so far away as I sit here alone

I'd give all just to change that somehow

Sometimes

2011-10-27T04:51:00.001-07:00

Sometimes when we fight

And I watch you walk away

Something deep down in my heart

Loses a whole day

Sometimes when we argue

Over dumb and stupid things

Tears well up within my soul

I can't bear the pain it brings

Sometimes when I'm angry

It makes you angry too

I feel so guilty deep inside

I just can't look at you

Sometimes when we're silent

Staring at the wall

I want to tell you how I feel

I'm so sorry for it all

Sometimes when it's over

And I hold you close to me

I want to whisper in your ear

This is how it should always be

Sometimes when you're smiling

You make me feel so strong

And sometimes when you kiss me

I know where I belong

Eternity or not

2011-10-26T04:42:00.000-07:00

Is there something after this

Somewhere that spirits go

Pearly gates so high above

Something else below

Is there really one called God

Who watches over me

Someone show me where he is

I look but I can't see

Don't talk to me of faith and trust

Then hang it on a cross

Look at me with that stupid grin

Then simply say because

For what you tell me makes no sense

When I see the things you do

You tell me I must follow rules

That don't apply to you

You tell me I must have more faith

And step into the night

Yet as I watch you walk away

I know something isn't right

If there is a God on high

Watching over me

Then he is either blind or else

He doesn't want to see

And if you truly are his voice

His proxy here and now

Then we are nothing more than sheep

Following a cow

If there's something after this

Some place where spirits go

I don't think I'll be going up

I've spent far too long below

But I'll be happy either way

Eternity or not

If it's real I guess that I'll go on

And if it isn't I'll be forgot

Three simple words

2011-10-25T16:09:00.001-07:00

I love you there's just no denying

I can't get you out of my heart

Your my last thought at night and my first every day

In my mind we are never apart

Everything just reminds me of you

You're the wallpaper inside my head

If I stood in pure heaven surrounded by love

I would wish I was with you instead

I must hold every moment with you

As a childs hand is held in a glove

For I cannot deny how I feel any more

Three simple words

I'm in love

Headaches

2011-10-25T15:11:00.000-07:00

A brick wall a head and a bang

That's how it feels every day

Trying to teach those who already know

And who just will not hear what you say

Why do we bother why do we try

When we know what the ending will be

I guess it will always have something to do

With the fact that we care you and me

But tell me the answer to this

Whos going to be there for you

When you're laying in tears at the end of the day

Is it worth all the crap you've been through

Can you honestly say that you won

When you're watching them slide down the drain

As you pull all those kitchen knives out of your back

Will you ever be free of that pain

Maybe the answer is this

The next time you look at that wall

Understand bricks are harder than heads

And just walk away from it all

Emotions are not made of rock

And people are not made of stone

Stop banging your head on that stupid brick wall

Or you'll find yourself standing alone

Imagine

2011-10-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

Imagine yourself in a crowd

Being quietly pushed to the ledge

Silently jostled and nudged on your way

Til you're teetering there on the edge

Imagine you look back and see

All those friends you had back through the years

Smiling and waving then turning away

Leaving you all alone with your fears

Imagine you feel that last push

Over the edge and you're gone

All that you knew just gets further away

And Then suddenly you're all alone

Imagine you throw out your arms

Reaching for anything there

Screaming in terror heart racing fast

But all that your hands find is air

Imagine you open your eyes

And there staring right in your face

Is the one that you never expected to see

And they followed you into this place

Imagine you hold out your hand

And a smile lights a fire in your heart

All of your fears disappear in that light

Now your new journey truly can start

Imagine yourself being free

With a new road stretched out before you

No baggage to slow you no chains tie you down

There's no limit to what you can do

Imagine yourself anywhere

Doing anything you want to do

Going anywhere you ever wanted to go

Imagine yourself being you

Grandma's Apple Pie

2011-10-23T14:15:00.003-07:00

I want to go eat Oysters

In a great big smelly shed

I want to open Garlic Clams

While sitting on a bed

I want Escargots in Cognac

Frogs Legs in Garlic sauce

And I want Nasi Lemak

As my second bloody course

I want the taste of Lobster

In a Mediteranian bar

I want a bowl of Curried Crab

Or Macca's in my car

I want Doro Wat in Africa

Or Momo in Tibet

I want the taste of Nian Doubao

Just as much as I can get

I want to eat Raw Fish

Somewhere high up in Japan

I want to eat Mlukhiyah

Just because I can

I want to have a BBQ

In Australia's outback

I want some Roo and Crocodile

On some dry Kimberly track

I want to do a Hangi

Try some Poisson Cru

I want some Mahi Mahi

Some gorgeous Haupia too

I want some bloody Bacon

With Eggs and Fried Mushrooms

I want some Paw Paw salad

On a beach somewhere with you

I want to try out everything

Just once before I die

Then I'll come back home again

To my grandma's Apple Pie

Wonder

2011-10-23T14:15:00.001-07:00

A bump in the night, a turn of the head

A muffled soft whisper or two

The light of the moon plays with shadows and then

There's a feeling that shivers right through

Eyes meet in silent agreement

Lips form words best left unsaid

The night holds a secret that started within

For now there are three in this bed

Regret

2011-10-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

I want to go back, back through the years
And fix all the things I did wrong
I want to make changes in days that have gone
Like re writing the words to my song
I want to say sorry to those that I've hurt
And stop all the tears that were shed
I want to not open that very first door
But to stare out the window instead
I want to re live it that very first kiss
And change how I held her that day
I want to sit down on that grass covered hill
Softly wipe all her teardrops away
I want to be young again maybe a child
And not pull the wings off that fly
I want to be sitting on grandmothers knee
And gazing up into her eyes
I want to correct all those things that I did
That led me to where I now stand
I want you to know that I'd give all I am
For my teardops to fall in your hands

One more tear

2011-10-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

I am happiest when I am near you

Unhappy whenever I'm not

I can't settle my heart

And it tears me apart

For your love I just haven't got

When I see you my heart beats much faster

And passion errupts deep within

My mind lost in fantasy

Built around you

Then I find myself drowning in sin

I look in your eyes and I tremble

I'm lost in the wonder of you

The world melts away

Every word that you say

Makes the gray sky a brilliant blue

I don't know any way I can tell you

What it is that you do to my heart

But I must find that way

Find the right words to say

For I die more each time we're apart

I am happiest when I am near you

And I'm wishing right now you were here

For as you walked away

Turned that corner today

The world swallowed up one more tear

Mostly Dark

2011-10-09T16:30:00.001-07:00

I've written lots in the last few months

But sadly mostly dark

Not the kind of thing you need to see

The words may come from deep within

And show what's going on

But they also give an insight into me

We all of us have things we hide

Secrets that we keep

Thoughts and actions no-one else can know

We show the world a friendly face

Laugh and joke and smile

While living in a darkness down below

I have no fear in showing you

This heart that beats within

The romance and the love I hold inside

I'll share with you the memories

But you must see the pain

That drags me on this roller coaster ride

If I were an artist

My canvas would be fear

Brush strokes would fly blindly to and fro

The palet pure confusion

So tainted with desire

Draw my mind to where it should not go

So I have written many things

I hope you never see

For they would simply make you turn away

This man you know this man you love

Is not all he could be

But he will smile and make you laugh today

Your face

2011-10-09T16:26:00.001-07:00

My lord exists somewhere some place

Though I may not hear his voice

There's something that I cannot see

It tells me 'make a choice'

There's something that I cannot feel

Yet it surrounds me now

It holds me and it gently guides

Towards an end somehow

I take each step in total fear

Walk into empty space

And with each breath I say this prayer

Let me once more see your face

How

2011-10-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

How do you tell her you love her

When you know that love can't be returned

How do you tell her you want her

Without watching your world crash and burn

How do you tell her you need her

That you'd die to be with her today

How do you tell her you love her

And not turn your heartbeat away

Close the door

2011-10-09T16:20:00.001-07:00

I just can't do any more crying

Every day I just break down inside

I see a small child and a mother near by

My emotions have nowhere to hide

A waterfall must start from somewhere

With raindrops that fall from above

This torrent that wells in my eyes every day

Isn't just the by-product of love

Why do I wake every morning

When I don't want to be in this place

What must I do to make you let go

Must I stand up and spit in your face

Please understand what I'm saying

I don't want to be here any more

I just can't do any more crying

Leave me here let me die

Close the door

Brown Eyed Girl

2011-10-09T16:19:00.001-07:00

This brown eyed girl invades my heart

She's in my every thought

I swim is seas of wild desire

And hope that I'll be caught

I'd gladly take my final breath

And slip beneath her gaze

Entangled there and pulled beneath

To drown in lustful waves

I can't control the way I feel

Or make it go away

This brown eyed girl invades my heart

And I feel it more each day

Time

2011-10-09T16:18:00.001-07:00

Time

You can't control it

Make it yours

Or turn back it's moving hands

It rolls on by

Takes your life

As tides on shifting the sands

Each day moves on

And takes with it

A little more of you

It will not slow

Nor change its path

No matter what you do

So live each moment

Of your life

As if it is your last

For hapiness

Is never found

While looking at the past

What the hell happened

2011-08-20T03:32:00.000-07:00

What the hell happened

Where did it go

The last 63 years of my life

One minute I'm playing

And falling in love

The next I've got kids and ex wives

Where have they gone

All those years that I had

How the hell did I end up here

I opened my eyes

And took my first breath

Now I'm old and I'm living in fear

It doesn't make sense

It just isn't fair

All these memories that won't go away

I want to go back

To those places I loved

I'm alone as I lay here today

I remember the friends

And endless blue fields

The quarry where we used to go

I remember the girls

On the side of a hill

Teaching me things that I didn't know

We laughed and we loved

We hurt and we cried

We prayed on the side of that hill

We rolled in the grass

Watched planes go past

And I wish we were doing it still

But where has it gone

This childhood of mine

This world still alive in my head

The years have flown by

In the blink of an eye

Now I lie here alone on this bed

My friends are no more

Old lovers move on

The world has changed too fast for me

I stare at the pictures

That play in my mind

These memories just won't let me be

So what the hell happened

Where did they go

Those 63 years that were mine

Is this all there is

A heart so full of tears

Just one more sad hiccup in time

I guess maybe

2011-08-19T19:01:00.002-07:00

I guess you'll maybe miss me

When I'm no longer here

Perhaps you'll even wish you'd said goodbye

One day you'll leave some flowers

Even speak a word or two

But you'll never undertstand how much I cried

I guess you'll maybe talk about me

Stab me in the back

Some will speak of things that weren't so bad

You might just place my picture

In a frame upon a shelf

A reminder of the better times we had

I guess you'll maybe wonder now

Where it all went wrong

Why I made your life so god damned tough

You'll never see the picture

Or truly understand

That for all of you I could never do enough

I guess you'll maybe shed a tear

But will it be for me

Or will it be for something that you've lost

One day I hope you find a way

To see through all the crap

And wonder was it really worth the cost

I guess you'll maybe miss me

When I'm no longer here

But you'll live on in your life without the fears

Before you leave me in the ground

On my headstone place these words

"Here lays a man who drowned in his own tears"

Why won't it stop

2011-08-19T19:01:00.001-07:00

Why won't it stop this shit in my head

Why can't I get rid of it

This crap in my head drives me fucking insane

And it leaves me just feeling like shit

I've heard all the talk of forgiveness of sins

And I tell everyone move ahead

Forget about yesterday live for today

But my soul tells me reason is dead

I can't open my eyes without feeling this lust

That kills me again and again

I want it to stop but it pushes on through

All this crap and it ivades my brain

There's hate and there's anger and laughter and joy

There's sadness and pleasure and more

But there's also this lust that just will not let go

And its been there since times gone before

Why can't I enjoy all this beauty I see

Without feeling dirty inside

Why must I smile and pretend I'm ok

When I just want to run off and hide

I hate what I am and I hate what I do

And I hate what goes on in my mind

But I just can't escape all this hunger I feel

Sometimes I wish I'd been born blind

Why can't I stop it why is it there

Why must I weep every night

I want so to stop but it won't go away

God help me I'm too tired to fight

Will your arms ever reach out for me

2011-08-19T18:59:00.001-07:00

She plays in my mind and teases me there

This girl who takes hold of my heart

She has no idea this effect that she has

When I'm with her it tears me apart

How can I fight it this feeling inside

Its not fair what this life puts us through

Takes me to deaths door then opens my eyes

Looking straight at this image of you

Just what the hell do I do with this pain

That cripples me when you are near

This wanting within me that won't let me go

Can you not see I'm living in fear

When will you tell me when will I know

Is this loneliness all there will be

Can I hope in my heart that you feel this way too

Will your arms ever reach out for me

Do you know

2011-08-19T18:58:00.001-07:00

Do you know what its like to see backs

To hear voices but none there for you

To be standing alone in the midst of a crowd

And you don't know just what you should do

Do you know what its like to be scared

Afraid that you're walking alone

Afraid that you'll hurt those you love one last time

As you pass through those gates on your own

Do you know what it feels like to cry

To feel so much sadness all hope falls away

To see so much darkness where once there was light

Knowing none have a good word to say

Do you know what its like to be lost

Surrounded by strangers once family and friend

Surrounded by silence made deeper by stares

That empty your soul in the end

Do you know what it is to forgive

To look in that mirror and see what you see

To take just one moment to look at yourself

Before making judgement on me

Secret kiss

2011-08-19T18:57:00.003-07:00

Every time I see your face your smile lights up my world

Every touch makes me explode I wish you were my girl

Every time I think of you my heart beats fast somehow

I think that I'd give anything to have you here right now

We live within a crazy world where everything moves fast

We reach out for the future while we're living in the past

Deep down inside where no-one sees another world exists

A private world where you and I can share a secret kiss

I long to hold you in my arms and feel you close to me

I long to feel your lips on mine my love would then be free

But I can only hold you in my dreams and memories

My love for you will always be that whisper on the breeze

Save me

2011-08-19T18:57:00.001-07:00

If you're there, tell me,

If you're real, show me

If you know, teach me

If you can, save me

Pot (explicit)

2011-08-19T18:56:00.001-07:00

Pot, weed, marajuana

Whatever the hell its called

It fucks your life and sucks your health

And grabs you by the balls

It ruins healthy families

It costs far more than bucks

It's wrong illegal just plain dumb

If you need it well then you're fucked

So roll that reefer suck that bong

If it makes you feel so high

Your life must be so fucking sad

It makes me want to cry

Pot, weed, marajuana

No matter what you call the shit

Its not addictive but here's the catch

Your life is fucked because of it

The good old days

2011-08-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

Ahh the good old days

No radar guns or cameras

Skinny roads and winding tracks

Cops right on your arse

Leaded fuel was still so cheap

Super chargers ruled the day

Mustangs Corvettes Ford GT's

Simply blew us all away

Convertibles with tops right down

Long haired girls in skirts

Take aways with proper food

And always loads of flirts

Drive-in movies friday nights

Ten pin bowling too

Skinny dipping after dark

On Bondi beach with you

Disco's party's Sandy's place

Mental's on the porch

Trying to find that zipper

When we only had a torch

Fumbling fingers in the night

Clips that won't undo

Ahh the memories I have

Of things we used to do

The good old days live on in me

I wish that you could see

The fun we had the things we did

When she was here with me

Two wheels below us on the road

The sound the feel the thrill

I remember how it was

I hope I always will

Electronic world

2011-08-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

We live in a world of electronic games

Of mobiles and tablets and stuff

We drive faster cars and fly everywhere

It seems we just can't get enough

We're full of fast food and sugar filled drinks

No-one seems to cook any more

Our kids are out partying dusk until dawn

Then collapsing in heaps on the floor

Grandma and grandpa are shaking their heads

Wondering what have we done

Where are the days when parents and kids

Spent the day in the park having fun

We look at the sunrise and think 'holy shit'

Check the watch out the door and we're gone

No time to stop and enjoy what we have

Headphones on PSP it's just wrong

All around us the music of everyday life

Has changed and we sing a new song

What happened to walks in the sun and a smile

Wake up gramps the world has moved on

We live in a world that is suddenly small

And go everywhere on our ass

It's all on a screen in the palm of your hand

The real world it seems has gone past

Alone in the dark

2011-08-06T20:10:00.000-07:00

The lights won't stay on without you

I'm sitting alone in the dark

The ducks are all gone and the water is cold

I'm so damned alone in this park

The sun doesn't shine quite so bright

Clouds seem to cover my day

The world's not so friendly its cold in my heart

I'm so lonely since you went away

I wish you were here with me now

Your head resting here on my chest

That smile in your eyes your kiss soft and sweet

Those days were quite simply the best

I miss you my love oh so much

And I know what you'd want me to do

Don't live in the past go find somebody else

But I can't when my heart longs for you

Teardrops now fall from my eyes

Joining rivers of sadness below

I think of your smile and my heartbeat slows down

I love you and need you to know

The lights won't stay on without you

As I sit here alone in this park

I want so to hold you and never let go

I feel so alone in the dark

Fuck it!

2011-08-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

Fuck it all I don't give a shit

You can have it the whole fucking lot

The money the house the cars and the boat

Take every damned thing that I've got

You fucked up my life from the day you walked in

And I only have myself to blame

Blinded by beauty I just couldn't see

That being with you was insane

All my friends called me crazy my kids turned away

They all knew you were one big mistake

I wish now I'd listened and made the right choice

But I didn't and love turned to hate

So go fuck yourself you X rated bitch

Lets face it you fucked all the rest

You left nothing here for anyone else

Fucking ripped it right out of my chest

And now fuck it all I don't give a damn

You've got it the whole fucking lot

The money the cars the house and the boat

I hope that they choke you you slut

Missing Her

2011-08-03T16:40:00.002-07:00

I won't get to see her again

And its tearing my heart into bits

The thought that I won't see those eyes any more

Is so painful it makes me feel sick

My soul falls in sorrow today

This emptiness grows deep inside

She lit up my life as her mother before

And left me with nowhere to hide

Now I won't get to see her again

For the lies and deception have won

As I stare at her picture and long for her smile

It all blurs for the tears have begun

We

2011-08-03T16:40:00.001-07:00

We wake up every morning

We smile and say hello

We jump up from our comfy bed

Then off into the day we go

We look up at the sunshine

We watch the traffic flow

We smell the fragrance in the air

Then catch a train below

We head off to our office

We run towards our schools

We push our trolleys through the shops

Then shake our heads at fools

We take a break at lunch time

We talk with all our friends

We laugh and joke and fool around

Then back to work again

We stumble through the afternoon

We pack it all away

We take our places in the queue

Then we end our working day

We find our way down to the bar

We drink we laugh complain

We wave goodbye and hit the road

Then wonder home again

We find the shower hot and clean

We crawl back into bed

We watch TV we read a book

Then try to calm our head

I wonder as we lived our day

Did a thought once cross our mind

For those less fortunate than we

To us

Life has been kind

My Car

2011-08-03T16:39:00.001-07:00

I used to have a car but now I don't

The insurance man said it was fucked

They ain't gonna pay me and the reason they said

Is the guy who was driving got booked

Now

I wouldn't mind so much but I loved that old car

It held lots of memories sweet

But they took it away and they pulled it to bits

Now she's in every car on the street

I once had a car but now she's no more

In pieces all over the place, and

If you've bought spare parts and drive past me some day

You just might see a smile on my face

My life

2011-07-27T01:27:00.001-07:00

My life is so fucked up my world such a mess

Everything that I touch turns to mud

I can't seem to do any fucking thing right

But God help me I wish that I could

Everything that I've loved has been taken away

Every step that I take a pot hole

I reach out for love and I let down my guard

And there you are shredding my soul

Just what the fuck have I done in the past

That life should condemn me to this

To leave me here rotting so deep in my sin

Waiting alone for deaths kiss

I don't understand what it is that life wants

From this drop in the ocean called me

Why does it keep me here day after day

How much more fucked can I be

It's not like I want to be who I am

Not like you gave me a choice

I've tried and I've cried, I've called out to you

All these years and I've not heard your voice

Now I don't give a fuck what you think any more

I just want to fall to my death

Don't throw me a line please just let me go

And I'll thank you with my dying breath

My life is so fucked up I'm over it all

I just want to be left alone

So life here's the thing find somebody else

Take your hand off me, let me go home

The Light

2011-07-22T03:46:00.001-07:00

The light so very far ahead

So clear so strong so bright

A beam so straight beneath my feet

Leads me out into the night

The darkness disappears within

A candles gentle flame

The softest breeze against my skin

Whispers out my name

This fear that lived within my soul

Is gone from me today

That light so very far ahead

Will guide me on my way

I cannot see where each foot falls

Nor can I feel my tread

But I will take each step in faith

To that light so far ahead

I wish that I could find a way

To tell you all goodbye

But when the sun came up today

It watched me slowly die

Happiness

2011-07-14T03:19:00.001-07:00

Toasted ham and cheese sandwiches

Butterfly's frogs and snails

Dolls and train sets teddy bears

Your coat hanging on a nail

Puppy dogs kittens goldfish bowls

Rabbits and guinea pigs

Raindrops falling on a summer night

Caterpillars crawling up twigs

Children lovers mums and dads

Grandparents baby's and things

White wedding cakes confetti and bells

A vow and a diamond ring

Prawn crackers lobster and curried crab

Coffee and cheesecake and scones

Flowers crickets and soft autumn leaves

Children and big ice cream cones

There's so much in life to make people sad

Don't let it make you feel blue

Open your eyes and just look around

Let the simple bring happy to you

I wonder

2011-07-14T02:47:00.001-07:00

I wonder what life would be like

If this man had never been born

How many people would never have met

So many hats never worn

I wonder if you would still be

Would the lives of your friends be the same

So many faces never revealed

If I was not part of this game

I wonder if you even care

Well maybe you don't give a damn

As long as I don't interfere with your life

I'm free to be just who I am

I wonder just what you would do

If I managed to turn back the years

If you woke up tomorrow and suddenly saw

All you have in your life disappear

I wonder why I feel this way

Why does it tear me apart

I should be so happy for all that I am

But I sit here with my broken my heart

I wonder just who would be here

If I had turned left and not right

How many lives has this one man touched

Since his first breath one dark summer night

Youth

2011-07-13T01:21:00.000-07:00

Your youth, remember it well

For it will all too soon be long gone

Those days when the pretty girls

Blushed at your smile

Will soon be no more than a song

You'll look back at life with a smile

You rolled with the good times and bad

Loved all the best

Made friends with the rest

And enjoyed all the good times you had

One day there'll be sadness my friend

As your youth falls much further behind

You'll remember the days

All those lovers and friends

Who now only live in your mind

For the good times will soon be no more

The hour hand moves faster as years roll along

Then you'll wake up one day

All alone in your bed

And you'll wonder just where youth is gone

Breaks my heart

2011-07-12T22:16:00.002-07:00

She still breaks my heart every time she walks by

When she sees me she waves with that smile

It tears me apart that she'll never be mine

But I wish that she was for a while

Every day when I see her the sun shines for me

I get lost in a fantasy world

Every shape every curve lights a fire deep inside

And I'd love it if she were my girl

The smell of her hair as she hugs me goodbye

The touch of her face next to mine

She kisses my cheek and time seems to slow

It's a feeling that's oh so sublime

Have you not had that feeling deep down in your chest

Has your heart never once missed a beat

Do you not know the difference between love and lust

Or that feeling when sometimes they meet

She is everything all of my soul wants to hold

The power of life in my heart

And she'll never be mine but my god if she were

I would let nobody tear us apart

She still breaks my heart every time she walks by

And that smile makes a man want to cry

It tears me apart that she cannot be mine

But I'll hug her and kiss her goodbye

So far from me

2011-07-12T22:16:00.001-07:00

So far from me this girl I want

And yet within my mind

She comes to me to be my own

With all that love can find

She doesn't see me in this way

But oh I wish she could

To know that smile is there for me

Would feel so very good

Within her eyes I sometimes see

A wish for something more

I want to take her in my arms

Have her slowly close the door

Within her arms is everything

My aching heart desires

I want her so my body burns

I sink in lustful fires

How can I tell her how I feel

And not turn her away

Her smiling face lights up my life

Every single day

So far from me this girl I want

And never mine it seems

But every night she's here with me

As I hold her in my dreams

Monkeys n drums

2011-07-06T17:06:00.001-07:00

My body aches my eyes are sore

My muscles feel like lead

There's all these monkey's banging dums

Everywhere inside my head

It seems so long since last I slept

My mind is not so sane

Voices seem to whisper things

That grow inside my brain

Something grows so deep within

It reaches everywhere

They tell me I must change my ways

But I no longer care

I'm just so bloody tired these days

I can't make up my mind

Should I stay or should I go

Leave you all behind

Radiation therapy

Might help me struggle through

I'm not so sure I want that shit

I'd rather be with you

Here upon this mountain top

I think of those I love

And realise the one I want

Is somewhere far above

My body aches my eyes are sore

My muscles hang like lead

There's all these monkeys banging drums

And I'm wishing I was dead

Paralysed

2011-07-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

She sits and stares into my eyes

Her hand rests here in mine

Lips so gently parted

I want to cross that line

Her hair hangs loosely down her back

And on her shoulders bare

I want so much to hold her close

Show her that I care

She leans so close I want to cry

Her breath against my cheek

She wispers something in my ear

My eyes begin to leak

Soft arms hold me close until

Her heart beats deep in me

I want to scream into her soul

Don't ever set me free

I taste her tears I want so much

To tell her how I feel

I want to hold her in my arms

And show her love is real

Now as she moves away from me

My soul is filled with fear

I have to find a way somehow

To show her I am here

I didn't mean to drive so fast

As I came into that bend

Please God don't leave me here like this

Paralysed until the end

I feel like I'm home

2011-07-03T17:10:00.001-07:00

I look out the window and suddenly see

The reason I hate her so much

It's not that she's done stuff to make me feel bad

She's just that right mix of corrupt

She's dirty she's smelly she gets on your nerves

She'll kiss you then take all you've got

She'll lie to you steal from you make you feel great

Then she'll fuck you and leave you to rot

She leaves in your soul and indelible mark

That identifies you as her own

When I look out this window, its Sydney I see

And sadly I feel like I'm home

Cold

2011-07-03T17:08:00.000-07:00

In my room ghostly fingers

Up and down down my spine

The chill of winter covers me

I want the sun to shine

The mist is rising from the ground

As fog taps on the glass

Dark shadows come to torture me

I want this night to pass

The moonlight fails to penetrate

This cloud that covers me

Sounds of memories long gone

Just will not let me be

Now the whispers of the wind

Calling out my name

Blow everywhere within my mind

I cannot play this game

I huddle deep within the warmth

Of blankets on my bed

The ghosts of winter reach for me

They want me to be dead

I wait for morning silently

For dawn can set me free

The night is long but I am sure

The sun will come for me

To a mother, to a sister, to a daughter, to a wife

2011-06-27T02:23:00.000-07:00

I stared into the eyes of one who lived a violent life

I watched as fear turned into nothingness

As life flowed out in pools of blood and darkness claimed his soul

I held him for I could do no more no less

The hole within his chest was there because he threatened me

A single shot fired in the heat of war

We knew each other not as friends but friends we then became

As I held him on that bloody jungle floor

No words were spoken we both knew that neither should be there

Our eyes met in such sadness that I saw into his soul

No medic came to help for they tended to our own

But we understood a moment in that hole

I pray that we will meet again that God gives us a way

To forgive each other for this dying place

His family should know he died protecting what he loved

And his tears left trails for them upon his face

This man was there to fight a war he didn't understand

He didn't want to fight or mame or kill

He was odered to protect his land from those who came to steal

And I'll be with him forever on that hill

He never made it back to those he loved so very much

He didn't speak a language that I knew

But he told me all I need to know his eyes revealed his soul

He handed me a photograph of you

I pray that you'll forgive me for taking him away

Please understand that every night I cry

We came to fight within a war we didn't understand

But you know I saw forgiveness in his eyes

I stared into the eyes of one who didn't want to die

I watched as his life slowly ebbed away

I spilled his blood and darkness slowly came to claim his soul

I held him and I hold him to this day

Silver Spoon

2011-06-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

A baby cries a mournful sound

A gutter in an alley in a street

Silence echoes off the walls and windows close above

For death is something no-one cares to meet

A woman lays so still and yet

There is a movement there

Clinging to life a newborn cries but that won't last for long

The roaches and the cold will strip her bare

The mother of this newborn child

A vibrant life gone wrong

A needle spoon and lighter lay used up by her side

A busker in the distance sings a song

She tried so hard to be the one

Her family wanted her to be

But life is hard this world is tough and so much falls apart

And the needles contents set her spirit free

So now she lays her life is gone

Her baby follows soon

Born to a life of wealth and fame her world too often bought

She dies from what was in her silver spoon

And so the silence comes again

The babies cries are gone

Far above the moon is slowly breaking through the clouds

And the busker sings another soulful song